Saturday, August 13, 2011

TOP 10 BEST EXCUSES FOR MISSING WORK

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please be advised that this post is solely made for ordinary employees only. Supervisors, managers and HR members are strictly prohibited to read this entry.





Last Sunday was really a blast! I hung out with my friends and went home around 3am. I was a little bit drank and drowsy, but I still manage to locate my house. I went upstairs and got in my bedroom right away. With my shoes still on, I set my alarm clock at 6 o’clock, and forced myself to sleep.


As the sunrise finally set in, I started to hear the annoying sound of the alarm clock. I stopped it right away and started to stretch for a bit.  I felt well rested, and full of energy with less than 3 hours of sleep. Except with a mild headache, I really felt I was okay, and all set to go to work.   It was just odd since  the temperature was a bit warmer than usual. My room was also well lit already, and I’m not seeing signs of 6 o’ clock anymore. My heart starts to beat faster, as I grabbed my phone.  I started to panic when I saw 3 missed calls and a message as if it were screaming on my screen saying, where the hell are you? Holy crap! It’s not 6 anymore, but already a quarter to 12 noon.


I was still in shocked when I started to figure out what to do. I really wished that an apparition would stand before me, and tell me --- you’re only dreaming my child, go on and sleep again, but it didn’t work! On top of that, I suddenly remembered that it’s Monday, a critical working day, and absences are highly life threatening.


I texted my supervisor right away, and told him that I had an honest mistake in setting the alarm clock. I wrongly set it on pm rather than am that’s why it didn’t snooze and wake me up at 6am. I know it’s lame and a lie, but it’s really the best excuse that time. The success rate of this excuse is really high especially if you used it for the first the time.


I’m sure we’ve all been there, experiencing the old lazy days. There will always come a point in our life where we feel so tired and stressed out. Given the situation, our bosses wouldn’t definitely allow us to miss work just because we don’t want to go to work ,and just stay at home and rest. Admit it, everyone needs a bit of extra time occasionally, and all manner of outlandish excuses are given. We usually end up in making believable excuses though we really don’t want to lie. Below are some excuses from my co-workers and personal experiences which work most of the time.


Top 10 Best Excuses for Missing Work


 # 10: Personal reasons





Secret: Letting someone know, as soon as you know you will be a no-show is still a sign of courtesy and being a responsible worker. If you’re having a hard time to think of an excuse, and you’re pressured not to tell a lie, using personal reason as an excuse would do. I remember the first time I used this excuse, I wasn’t really sure if it’s going to work or not, but I just called in my boss and told him that I need a day for personal reason. "Something came up, it's personal, I'm sorry, I can't really talk about it. I should be back tomorrow".


Remember to say sorry and always thank your boss for his understanding for this matter. Expect no more further explanation since you always have a right to your privacy.


 # 9 Severe headache/Migraine
Secret: At some point we have actually experienced severe headache due to sleepless nights, insomnia and hangover from partying over night, which often results to a headache the next day. If you’re not in the mood of going to work, why not use this excuse. You can state that you have had a severe headache half of the night and already took medication to try to get rid of it, but you’re still not well.

Remember to call your boss earlier and be sincere with the tone of your voice. Just say that you are not coming in as you are calling in sick that day due to severe headache. In addition, make the call shorter and avoid giving exaggerated details. For instance, don't say that you were sick at 12:34 last night or your computer has yet to be cleaned of the vomit.

 

#8 Doctor’s appointment


Secret: If you want to go on a half day especially on Friday to prepare for your nightlife, this excuse really works a lot. I usually inform my boss about this a day before to give him a prior notice without leaving him too suspicious. At the very least, this excuse is good for a half-day; however, you can get a full day depending on how you plan it. 


 
# 7 I have an Emergency
Secret: When I’m really stressed or too tired from work, and I can’t motivate myself to go to work; I try to text/call my boss that I can’t come to work due to an emergency. This is quite vague, so try to anticipate further interrogations from your boss.
Here are some emergencies which you can use:
  • I have to accompany my mother/father for an annual medical check-up.
  • My sister just gave birth and no one will accompany her in the hospital. (Too bad if you don’t have a sister).
  • My tooth aches; I just called my dentist, and she advised me to go to her clinic right away for a possible root canal.
  • I need to stay home and take care of my children because their babysitter is not around.
  • Sudden death of a relative. (Actually it should have been sudden death of a dead relative).
  • I need to pick up someone at the airport.


# 6 I have horrible diarrhea
Secret: This is such an embarrassing excuse but works all the time especially when you're already in the office, and you want to go home earlier. Though you need a good acting and timing with this one,  re-enacting the signs and symptoms of diarrhea would be a runaway winner. Try to back up this excuse by going back and forth to the bathroom.
For a convincing acting, try to drink a canned pineapple juice, enriched with 100% fiber after eating a heavy meal. It really works perfectly for me, just be cautious with the humiliation you’d get the next day.
You can check out my horrible experience afterwards with this pineapple juice, by clicking the link below:


 # 5 Allergic Reaction
Secret: I notice that most people in my company with fair complexion usually use this kind of excuse; as if this ailment is specifically designed for them. You can definitely use this more than once, but you really need to be mindful and consistent of your allergies especially during a team building when there’s an abundance of food to choose from. Pick and eat wisely!



 # 4 Bad cramps (Note: Women Only!)
Secret: I had a seatmate once who happened to be lazy like me. She’s really full of excuses in missing work, not to mention her lates. One day, I saw her applying hot compress on her tummy and asked her what’s wrong; she then told me bluntly that she had cramps. Though, it’s not obvious on her face she’s in pain, she still manage to work on a half-day. I think nobody can ever challenge you with this one. No pain, no gain!



# 3 My kids need me
Secret: I usually envy my co-workers who already have kids; they have additional excuses to hide on their sleeves. I remembered a co-worker who has a baby, and scheduled vaccination is always the reason every time she’s going to miss work. While other moms usually use these excuses: child is not feeling well,  no one will look after their kids, attending family day at school,  and appointment with the doctor a dentist. Missing work with these excuses would definitely be exempted from further explanation. After all, most companies value family affairs, and who does not sympathize with a  child?
The only catch here is that make sure you’re consistent in telling stories with the number of your children either in real or fantasy world. Each kid that you have is already equivalent to one valid excuse; I’m telling you the more the merrier!



  # 2 Death of a Relative

Secret: In my case, I have uncles, grandparents, and cousins who died already, so it really leaves me no option but to attend a funeral every time I’m not in the mood to go to work. The downfall, is now you have to remember not to ever mention the name of the family member who supposedly died, be mindful how many times they died in your excuses, and the location of the funeral should be in a far-flung area, just to make sure your boss wouldn’t dare to attend the necrological mass. Also, make sure to say it in a very concerned and serious tone of voice.

The success rate is overwhelming, but always remember don't ever invent dead relatives if they're aren't true.  I only use this excuse, when I really have a very important matter which can’t be cancelled such as: contract signing from a lucrative company or job offer. I always save the best for last.

 # 1 I have bad colds





Secret:This one is really tricky and requires a good acting and consistency. Whenever I have special plans on the following day, and I don’t want to use my vacation or sick leaves. I really do my best to act as if I was about to have colds with a headache a day before. I sleep on my desk the whole day, and making my eyes appear gloomy – teary eyed most of the time. I also don’t talk that much, so that my co-workers would notice about my condition. On top of that, I usually ask my co-workers to buy me a bowl of chicken soup to add props on my acting stint.

Your acting is great if concerns from your co-workers and supervisor are overflowing within the day. Success rate is really high on rainy days or bad weather condition, and expect no more further interrogation the next day you’ll be missing work. Just make sure to be consistent with your acting with a perfect timing.

If you have some funny stories or good excuses to share please feel free to comment below. ^^

13 comments:

  1. my cat got stomacache so i have to look after him..hihi

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  3. @Cik teddy, thanks for visiting my blog.... I realy wished we could really use our pets as a valid excuse lol! Have a lovely day ^^

    @ Kendra, hello there... thanks for dropping by ^^

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL This was awesome.
    And to be honest, I've tried some of them myself :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. i remembered my call center days.. hahaha.. these were necessary lies I too once had to make and I hated that. that made me swear never to work at a call center ever anymore.. lol!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow this was great. I love your blog.

    -The Anonymous Teenage Blogger

    ReplyDelete
  7. @Nas, I'm always happy everytime you drop by and leave a comment. Glad that you enjoyed it. ^^

    @Paul, I didn't know that you've worked in a call center before hehe... We're on the same page anyway, I doubt if I would still go back on that kind of job. Though, it's really fun and exciting isn't it? Thanks for dropping by ^^

    @Anonymous Teenage blogger, Wow! I'm really flattered by your kind words. I hope you would come back soon. Thanks a lot ^^

    ReplyDelete
  8. I tried #06 (related to #06 to be exact). It was Monday and I'm just lazy to woke up. I just told my manager through text - "I'm having unconditional vowel movement. Since weekend I'm having a bad digestion till now, I'm getting sick so I can't come to work. Please consider my condition . . . urghhh. Thank you. - Sincerely - [My Name Here]" <- it works!

    If you try #08, there's a risk, they will be looking for a medical certificate or receipt, a proof that you really went to a Doctor.

    For other list of excuses. Thanks. I'll try the rest. HA HA HA [devil's laugh]

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Otakore Literantadodist, wow what a name! hahaha


    Well anyway, I'm going to text your boss about what you did. Lol!

    Don't worry, the aforementioned excuses really work 100%. It's safe to use.

    Thanks for dropping by ^^

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL! I like this post. I remember telling my supervisor I needed to go back home coz I forgot to turn off and unplug the plantsa.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Really? hahaha...

    What an excuse! Hmmm, I think your excuse is very creative lol! I haven't thought about that... I'll try that one promise ^^

    Thanks Myke ^^

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